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London update

I’m  just gonna do a non-friends entry for the ones who weren’t in London, so they can read my review from the whole trip. Will do a slightly edited entry for friends later!


I was the first to arrive on the airport and one minute later Femke arrived, and we had a little chat while I was having a cigarette. Than Linda arrived, which was great, cause the trains had a delay and didn’t expected her to be there so early J. We decided to go to the check in desk, and since Linda and me only had handluggage we were ready pretty quickly. At the airport I had another smoke and we gossiped about people from PN. Really funny. Than it was time to get on the plane. I got again a bit nervous, so I took my medication. The flight was actually pretty great, and only at first when we left the airport I got a bit nervous. But I started enjoying the flight! That was nice. Well the trip to London wasn’t that long and we were all pretty tired, so not much talking ;)


We walked to the hotel, which was great, really close to Oxford Street and next to the hotel (much to our excitement) was a Starbucks. We checked in the hotel and changed clothes and went to Soho to meet up with Holly, her sis and friend and Femke to get some drinks and go to Pizza Express to see Gwyneth Herbert. In PE it was freezing, we were right under the airco, which wasn’t that nice. We even saw Geoff and Seb walking in while they were having a break from PE! But the gig was great, the place was so small, Gwyneth was almost on our laps! Her voice is just beautiful and I am sure I’m gonna buy her new album, if only for her song Oh, Monkey, which she wrote for her kitten. So sweet and funny! Linda and me (well maybe only me) got excited when we found out they were playing the dvd extras from Blenheim in the PE restaurant while waiting for the other girls to get upstairs again. We walked back to our hotel, talked a little and went to sleep.


Saturday we woke up at about 10am, got showered and dressed and got next door to go to Starbucks for breakfast. We had to meet up with Bodge at 12.30, so we decided to walk up to Oxford Street, and while walking there we found a great one pound shop, with only jewellery for one pound each. Of course we had to go in and buy some nice jewellery. Then we met up with Bodge, and went into H&M. I couldn’t resist buying another bag and scarf, and Linda also bought a bag. We went to lunch at Garfunkel’s, much to our excitement. God we had so much fun about a chicken wing. (not gonna share it in this entry, if you’re interested, ask on msn!) After that we went to pick up Adele from Liverpool station, and had a little spazz in the car. Phoe arrived at the hotel, so we had a little spazz with the five of us and said hi to Siobhan, Phoe’s sister, who is so nice! Linda and me walked back to our hotel to change and met up with the rest at their hotel again. We walked to Wagamama’s where we had dinner, and we had to walk through some sort of redlight district, much to the excitement of the English people (we Dutchies are used to it :P ), we did see a guy walking around in bondage clothes, really funny. In Wagamama’s we had a lovely dinner (at least I had, Bodge and Phoe were too excited to eat, so they didn’t had much) and a lovely waiter who looked like a certain Cullum and I’m convinced his name is Frodo (since I couldn’t read his badge properly that’s what I made out of what I could read!). After dinner the real excitement started, we had to walk back to RS, which was about 15 minutes, and standing in line for the gig made some people really excited. I took a picture from Adele leaning at the announcement board where Jamie’s name was announced. Geoff and Sam walked by with their equipment, much to Adele’s and Bodge’s excitement. I must say Geoff looked really hot!  And finally we got in, we got great seats, second row, right in front of Sam, which was great. When Theo Travis started, me, Adele and Bodge went downstairs to the little bar, and had a chat with LD and Sam I believe. Geoff and Seb were having dinner, and when Geoff left, I went up to talk to Seb about some business ;) and gave him his present, which he loved. He asked why I bought him a present, and really liked it, bless him. Adele asked him if she could touch his arms, and he put out both arms and asked which one she preferred, really funny! Bodge took a picture (unfortunately Adele lost her camera after the gig, so no arm proof of all the arms she touched!). Phoebe arrived downstairs and we talked a little more to Seb, he still has the banner, and he’s going to put it up in his house, which is great! We all got a hug and then Seb left to get ready for the first set. We got back upstairs again and found out Ben, Mark Emms, Isabella and Simon were sitting near us. They got a bottle of champagne, and of course the cork (which hit Bodge’s head before), hit me on the chest. I had no idea what it was, until the waiter looked at me and apologised. Nice! Anyway, Jamie started, and I can’t for the hell remember what the setlist was, most of it new songs, apart from Frontin’ (with belly slapping, really hot, and Jamie mentioning it was better when he’s naked!), What a difference a day makes and These are the days (sung by Ben, which was absolutely great and our whole table just died). The new songs where great, I absolutely loved them and the whole Notting Hill carnival inspired drumming with Jamie on a drum which was almost as big as him was great. Get your way was just great, even though I hated it when I heard it on tape. I cried again during Photograph and London Skies, god it was beautiful. Theo Travis started again and we went again downstairs, talking to some random cycler who had great arms and thighs, cause he rides about 400 miles a week. God that was hilarious. I went back upstairs again, but before that I had a talk with Femke about gigs and all, and how we were gonna take back our opinion about Get your way. I also had a chat with Marc about the gig and his honeymoon and he asked me if I was here all week (I’m not that of a stalker!!!). I got a kiss and a hug from him, and he looked really happy when I said congrats to him and how he was a married man now. Bless him. Before the gig started I went up to talk to Simon about the Dutch candy I got him in Bath (which Bodge gave to him, long story). He liked it and he told me Ben was about to go up stage to sing These are the days with Jamie, much to my excitement. We also had a little chat about his son’s first words (random I know) and Adele’s ducks. Jamie started again and Ben got up stage. Our whole table melted, it was great, and I can’t stop raving about it. Sorry! As I said, I can’t remember what he sung, apart from some songs. 7 days to change your life is absolutely brilliant, I kept laughing during the song, the lyrics where great. Mind Trick is such a sunhatchy tune, and I saw Ben singing along during that song. I’ll just skip to the end of the gig (I could’ve danced all night) and we all got on our feet to get dancing. I think it was before that, right after one of the last songs, the whole crowd got up and gave Jamie a standing ovation, which he was so touched by that. I noticed Isabella getting up with one of the first people and grinning and just looking generally proud of her boyfriend, which was so cute. Bless her. And than the gig was over. L I had a little chat with Ben, saying I really loved him getting up stage and singing, and some other things we discussed. Than I walked up to the stage where Geoff and Sam where packing up, and I called Geoff to come over. At first he told me he was packing and Danny (Jamie’s tourmanager) told him to go up. I also called Sam to come over and gave Sam my present, and he had the same reaction as Seb “Why have you bought me a present?!”. Which was cute. I got a kiss from Sam aswell, and he even recognised me “Hey it’s you again! How are you?”. Bless! I got Geoff his present, and his reply was “Why did you buy me a present? Nobody ever buys me presents apart from my kids!”. He loved the socks I got him (random I know!) and told me he actually needed socks and I got a kiss from him aswell. Phoe got her playing cards signed and Adele got to touch both guys arms and Bodge got to touch Geoff thighs.

We got kicked out of RS, so we decided to wait outside for Jamie. After a while Sam came out, and we all went “Bye Sam”, which was hilarious. Than the big moment (lol), Jamie came out. Fortunately, I was first in line, so I gave him my present, and he said he unwrap it later. There was a randomly drunk guy who started singing Ain’t that a kick in the head, and Jamie joined, right in my ear, which was fab. I got a kiss (again!) and a hug, and he signed my clock. No real conversation, since the drunk guy kept singing, but it was nice to see him again. Adele was next and she told him she loved Jamie’s arms and got to touch them. I think she also got her picture taken with him, but she lost her camera as mentioned before. I was in the way of the people packing the instruments in the car, so I had to leave, which sucked, cause I didn’t see anything from what happened with Linda, Phoe and Bodge. But, I was chatting to Femke, Sam and Reggae, and we think we saw Jamie’s Ebay stalker, which was just wrong. Anyway, we all got to talk to Jamie and got autographs and Bodge’s father was waiting for us to leave, so we left. There was a car standing right next to us, with a few people in it, and I noticed Ben up there, and he waved at me. We left to our hotels, and said goodbye, half spazzing in the car though. Linda and me got to our room (got a funny look from the guy who worked in the hotel, who must’ve thought why we got back so late, at 4am I think). We spazzed some more and didn’t got to sleep till 5am I think. Woke up at 10am by a call from Phoebe to ask us if they’d came over to our hotel, since they got kicked out already. Linda and me took a shower and packed with the 3 girls in the room, and spazzed some more. Siobhan was waiting for us at the next door Starbucks, so we had breakfast there, and I bought a Herbie Hancock possibilities cd, which I’m listening to right now, and it’s brilliant. We taped a little video for the people who weren’t there, talking randomly about arms, the gig, mr. Cullum and more. We went up to Covent Garden, after we left Bodge (alcoholic ;) ) and went to a bookshop to buy some books (I got 4, which is great!) and to the Lush shop. I didn’t go in, since I’d spend already way too much money. We went to the tubestation where we said goodbye to Adele, and than it was just me, Linda, Phoe and Siobhan. We got to Paddington, ate some Burger Kings, sat at the Paddington statue. And than it was time to say goodbye to Phoebe. I cried a little, since we didn’t knew when we’d see eachother next, although I’m thinking about going to London/UK around January again. Linda and me spend a little time on Paddington station and than we got on the train to Heathrow. We spend time there, just smoking (me) and do some last minute shopping (cadburry bars). When we were waiting for our gatenumber to turn up, I went to the smoking area. There was a guy sitting next to me, who asked me for a light, and he started talking to me in English and than asked me were I was from. It turned out he was Dutch aswell and he came from LA (Los Angelies as Jamie called it Saturday). He was on the same flight as us, but thank goodness he wasn’t sitting next to us on the plane, since he was a bit weird. We got on the plane and said goodbye to the UK. Listened to Jamie on the plane, and randomly started laughing at eachother of the memories popping in our heads and read magazines. The flight was pretty relaxed and I can say I’m truly over my fear of flying now. Doing 6 flights in one year definitely helped. And that was the end of our London trip, another great one. Sadly it is over now, and I don’t know when I’ll be back L  


Happy Birthday Ben!

Since PN isn't working, I'll just post it up here!

Happy Birthday Ben (and Prince Willem-Alexander!). Hope you have a great day!

(And yes, my ribs are still sore :P )

xx Flick



I wanted to do a friend update.

If you consider yourself a friend, post here and I'll keep your name in my list.

xx FLick


As knicked from Phoe/Linda

Please do this for me! (If anyone can help me how to link this, please say so.. )

» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?


Stolen from Lally

A - Age: 22
B - Band listening to right now: urm Don't know it's on the radio. Sounds good though..
C - Career in future: Journalist or maybe screenwriter
D - Dad's name: Jacques
E - Easiest person to talk to: Linda
F - Favourite song at the moment: Jamie Cullum - The sweetest thing
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Bears
I - Instruments: Guitar
J - Job title: Secretary
K - Kids: No thanks
L - Longest car ride ever: 10 hours in a horrible bus to Paris
M - Mum's name: Elly
N - Number of siblings: 0
O - Oldest sibling: don't have any..
P - Phobia[s]: Airplanes
Q - Quote you like: Britney Spears has snakes and lesbians, I have my nan's carpet - Jamie
R - Reason to smile: Seeing Jamie in 11 days
S - Song you sang last: Some old childhood song
T - Time you wake up: 9.15 (really early on my day off)
U - Unknown fact about me: erm.. Don't know
V - Vegetable you hate: I hate most vegetables
W - Worst habit: smoking
X - X-rays you've had: foot, leg.
Y - Yummy food: Italian food
Z - Zodiac sign: cancer


Got nothing interesting to tell y'all.. It's been a quite boring weekend really.. My parents had visitors coming over the whole weekend, and talked about their holiday. Since I've heard their stories about 10 times, I didn't needed to hear them anymore.. So I basically locked myself in my room all weekend and do PN and study.. I got so far with my study, I'm no longer behind on schedule.. I'm proud of myself..

I was trying to add something interesting here.. But I can't think of anything.. *hides*

xx Fem


Big Brother

For all those Linda fans: go to http://www.livejournal.com/users/pnbig_brother/

I've made a special journal for her there, and this stays my journal..

xx Femke

And Phoe made this today, LMAO!

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God I got so annoyed with lj a few moments ago.. I made a huge post (really huge) and it didn't upload it, and when I went back to my update, it was all gone.. *Insert angry emoticon*

Anyway, I'm gonna try again..

An update on my life: I went to see the doctor yesterday, and she's going to make an appointment with a therapist for me, which is actually more than I expected. So that's nice!

I had a really nice talk with Marco last night, he actually made me cry by saying I could call him any time of the day if I wanted to talk.

Last night was absolutely fabulous! Jamie's North sea jazz gig was aired again, although it was a bit different than the gig shown before. It was even better, they showed I could've danced all night (YES, the sexy dance!) and In the wee small hours (I cried when I heard that). You could've seen a bit of me in the show too.. Cameraman obviously liked me, lol! I can't remember that much about the gig, cause I wasn't a big fan like now. I was totally blown away by him, but didn't knew he played High and dry. I'm a great Radiohead fan, and actually cried during the gig, when I heard that song.. I also know Jamie and me holding hands (how could I ever forget about that, when it was aired on national tv..) and my friend being totally jealous, she was right next to me, but Jamie didn't hold her hand..

Anyway, this is it for today (a little less shorter than the original post though).

xx Fem

Oct. 25th, 2004

Just call me Kermit the Hermit from now on, considering I haven't left the house since fridayafternoon and I've been watching the dvd and PN all day long..

Finally made a decision

Okay, together with my parents, there it was.. It was such a relief to get it off of my chest..

I'm MOVING out! Well not next week or anything, but I finally decided that's the right decision for now. God I feel so relieved! I'm gonna save so much money now (which means no more shopping..:()and trying to move out next year. Although there are three trips planned for me, I still need to make it.

It's nice to make a big decicion with my parents, it felt like they were relieved too. I actually had such a laugh last night with my mum, and that was a really long time ago.

The only thing that needs to be in my house is.. Cable internet! LOL! I can't live without it, and that's probably the only thing I can think off.. LMAO. I will try to talk to my boss this week about a raise, we've talked about it before, but me making this plans and thinking about money.. I need that raise so bad!

Well this was not the only thing I've been doing this weekend.. How about watching that dvd! The English people can buy it now, so it's only fair to talk about it.. Lol!

Oh and Lin: I am your number ONE supporter! Haha, i think I have to write a lot about you and the bb thing the next few weeks, so I can actually win the price for best supporter..

xx Femke

Jamie's dvd arrived yesterday, which was so sad.. I had to pick up my parents on the airport, cause they're back from their holiday. Yay! I have missed them loads, and now that they're back, I'm annoyed with them again.. It's so hard, trying to be nice to them, they've bought me loads of presents, but it seemed to me they didn't care about how I felt for the last couple of weeks. So that was a bit of a dissappointment..

We arrived home at about 3 pm, and there was the dvd.. I kept looking at it, and my parents weren't as excited as me. Well anyways, we talked till about 7 pm, and than my parents went to bed, jetlagged and tired from their journey. I almost ran upstairs to my room, and watched the dvd 2 times. It's really great, and the second time I started crying when Jamie sung But for now, and at the end, when the gig is finished, wow! Such a Jamie-thing to do, and really beautiful! I'm now watching it for the fourth time.. I'm sure it won't leave my dvd player for a really long time..

xx Fem

Oct. 21st, 2004


Saturday (but hopefully tomorrow) I will be able to watch Jamie's dvd! I just needed to get it out!

I just received an e-mail from Bol.com where I've ordered it from (thanks for telling me Pierrot!) and it says that i'll be receiving it within two days, which basically mean I'll have it tomorrow. God how exciting am I.. Haha..

xx Fem


Oct. 20th, 2004

Well things are starting to get better in my life! My parents are almost back from their holiday, just one more day! I've been using the sleepingpills for a few times now, and it's nice to have a good night sleep after two months of insomnia. I'm still tired (slept 5 hours last night.. PN was the reason!), but things are getting better now.

Today I went for a major shopping trip with my aunt and cousins to Amsterdam. Well I was planning for a moneyspending day, but it turned out not so good. Got a really nice jacket for the winter, which I was looking for for weeks. I also got some nice shirts, cleavage is huge, haha! Nice for my next date, which probably will be soon.. Details will follow later, when it actually happens. I was really tired when I came home from Amsterdam, went from home at 8.30 am this morning and got back at 8.00 tonight.. After 5 hours sleep that isn't really good. But I'm still awake!

I've bought a new phone yesterday, which caused some trouble. My sim card died in the new phone, so I lost every mobile number on my sim card, and my parents couldn't reach me if they wanted to. It scared me so much, and I was panicking in the phoneshop.. But it all turned out great, my new sim card has just arrived and everything is working now. YAY!

I've had so much support from the people on PN, and my best friend Marco, that I needed to thank them on here.. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!! I LOVE YOU!

xx Femke
It's been mostly crap which ended up here, since my life is all about crap these days.

The only thing that cheered me up was the PN Big Brother thing, how sad is my life, that I have nothing else to cheer me up??

I'm tired, didn't go to sleep till 3 am last night, had set my alarmclock on 10.30 am, but woke up at 12. I went to the doctor on tuesday, and he gave me some sleepingpills, but I'm afraid to take them, cause there are lots of warnings for it. My aunt said they were too heavy for me, and I'll probably be knocked out by them. Although that sounds good, maybe I'll take them tonight.

Wednesday, after a nice day, I talked to my best friend on msn, he's got a new girlfriend, and told me he was going to stay over her house for the night. I said I was jealous, because I want a boyfriend. He said I could have any guy I wanted, he was being so sweet! I needed to hear these words from him, because he just means a lot to me. We have been totally honest to eachother wednesday, the only thing I haven't told him, was that I like his best friend. Don't know if I'll ever tell him, or the guy I like, because I don't want to get hurt again. We'll see.

Today I went to the hairdresser, which turned out great! I have worn my hair in a ponytail for ages, just because I didn't wanted to go to the hairdresser, or just didn't have any money. I was fed up with that ponytail, so I decided to have a haircut. It's weird to do my hair again, but it looks different, and that was exactly what I needed.

Well that's it for now..

xx Femke

Total crap!

Today has been a really horrible day. I went to sleep at 2.30 last night, and had to get up at 7.15 this morning. Woke up at 5 and fell back to sleep at 6. So it wasn't a goodnight sleep. I woke up, took a shower, and started crying. My bread was frozen, there was no milk for my coffee and I needed my mum. I went to work, and at the busstop I found out I had to walk to the next busstop. Argh!

I got to work 15 minutes late. Was a bit hectic, my colleague was also later than normal, and I had to do the mail for 4 members, instead of 2. I went to talk to my boss, but she was busy, so I had to wait 45 minutes to get everything out. I went to one of my colleagues, who's also a friend of mine, started talking and crying. After that I smoked a sigarette, talked to my boss for 45 minutes, and cried again. Went back to our room, and told my colleagues what was wrong with me. Cried again.

My colleagues were absolutely lovely, went outside for lunchbreak with a colleague, instead of 30 minutes, we were away for an hour. I bought a scarf, gloves, and a hat in the same colour and a bag! Another bag, I think that's number 30..

Tomorrow I'm gonna call my doctor, and see what he can do for my sleepingdisorder. Hope there's a way to sleep a night through, I hate lying awake.

Confused feelings

Wrote another poem.. Been having so much inspiration today, although my feelings are so confusing..

You lighten up my day
Just thinking of you makes me smile

Wondering how you feel about me
Makes me so insecure

You said we should go out for a drink soon
Thinking of that makes me nervous

You are so sweet
Trying to cheer me up when I’m feeling down

I just hope you feel the same for me
And we can be happy together


Oct. 10th, 2004

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...erotic
Your hugs are...to die for
Your eyes...light up a day
Your touch is...awakening my heart
Your smell is...beautiful
Your smile is...hypnotising
Your love is...unique
Quiz created with MemeGen!


Oct. 6th, 2004

Since there are too many people who don't visit PN anymore.. Well I wrote a poem today, and I thought I'd share it with you.

Too many people hurt
Too many people I can’t help

Too few people who know me
For who I really am

It just rips me apart
My own problems, their problems

Hearing a beautiful song
Makes me cry

I don’t know what to do
I really want to help

But I can’t....



I'm trying to write a piece for Jamie's christmas gift, about the Jamie Cullum Addict Centre, but I'm so insecure about that. Just the thought Jamie will be reading it. And I'm still trying to figure out which poem(s) I'll put in it. It's just.. Well just that Jamie will be reading it, that thing makes me so insecure.

And that was my whole day. Yes people! It's official: I'm addicted/obsessed.

xx Femke
Well it's been a different weekend than I thought it would be. Friday was so nice, I kept listening to Everlasting Love from Jamie, and kept thinking about the fun I had planned for saturday.

Saturday turned out to be so sad. My cousin came over, to have dinner, go out and she stayed sleeping here. When she arrived, we went to do some groceries. We decided to order pizza for dinner, so we went home again. We ordered pizza, made milkshakes and drank Baileys. Such a great time. Than we turned on the computer, to listen to some music and have fun. My best friend came online, and I asked him about his plans for that night. He said he hadn't made any plans, so I asked him to come over, and bring some friends if he wanted to. He named some of our friends, and what they were doing, and told me his girlfriend was with her parents. I misread that, and thought that one of our friend's girlfriend was with her parents. He asked me if I didn't read that, and than told me again he had a new girlfriend. I was kinda sad and surprised that he hadn't told me before. He said he was going to tell me everything when he came around. And so he did. Well, he told me when we stood outside, when he was about to leave. We had a nice time when he was around, making jokes, drinking and laughing at my cousin's crush.

He left, and he told me about her. He'd met her at a party, and she studies in The Hague, and in the weekends she goes to her parents. She's kinda a punk girl, which doesn't look anything like me, or seems to be his type of girl. He asked me if I was planning to go to the birthday of our friend, and since that is tuesday, I can't go, I have made other plans (Thank god). He really wanted me to go, cause than I could see his girlfriend. Yeah, that's a reason to go! NOT!

Well before he actually left, he gave me a kiss on my mouth (that's a thing we always do), a hug and a kiss on my forehead. That was so cute, I really had to hold back, and not starting to cry.

Thank god, my cousin was there, and we cried, listened to sad songs, drinking and smoking. I was so glad she was with me. We stayed up till 5 in the morning, only talking. When we woke up, at 1 pm today, we made breakfast, and went back to bed, and stayed there till 4 pm.. That was nice!

So that was my sad story for this weekend...

xx Fem